I am often asked what my definition of happiness is. This is what I answer:
Happiness is about subtracting & not adding. Think of it as 10-layer sweater. Another person can help you subtract layers which can help you reach your happiness. But adding a person cannot make you “happy”. This comes only from within you. Happiness is the source of the quality of your thoughts. If you make yourself believe that you need someone else to feel happiness, then when they leave you will “feel” pain- but this is not real because emotional pain is not tangible. It’s you, flooding your mind with those thoughts while replaying the same old movie over & over again. We all do this. We can only stop & really be happy when we understand that our worth is ours alone- no other human being on earth can validate you. The opinion of another towards you does not become a fact unless you start to believe it in your head.
Lastly, life is about experiencing some “happy moments” and difficult ones. But they cannot be collected. It’s impossible to accumulate happy moments because they cannot be traded or exchanged for a “Happy Life”. When they arrive, we should enjoy them. But a good life comes from the ability to clear your mind of all that is weightless and untrue. Realize that there is no race going on towards happiness. We are supposed to face all situations & understand them & deal with them. This happens in our minds- there is where your happiness is- You are happiness.